Heidi Williams

Opening the lid of the In-N-Out container to get a taste of their vanilla milkshake, seniors Kacey Miller and Heidi Williams review the popular fast-food chain’s sweet treat. After trying a vanilla shake from several restaurants, the two decided that the best shakes in town belong to these places, in this order: In-N-Out, Whataburger, Chick-fil-A, Sonic and McDonald’s.

The cloud cover made the sky shine a light-gray color as the hidden sun began to dip behind the monochrome horizon. The wind that whipped around the windshield of our convertible Mini Cooper held memories of rain from the day before, reddening our cheeks in the cold. The top to our ride was down, it was 38 degrees outside, we were ordering a vanilla milkshake from Whataburger and we were regretting our life decisions.

I should probably start from the beginning, back in April of last year. Heidi and I wanted to write an article about the french fries served at the fast-food chains in our area. We felt strongly that the community would benefit from a breakdown of the taste, texture and appearance of fries from the following restaurants: Whataburger, Chick-fil-A, Sonic, In-N-Out and McDonald’s. We ended up spending four hours one afternoon, rolling through drive-thru after drive-thru, critiquing each fry served to us and filming our reactions. I then spent eight hours that weekend editing the video down to a 12-minute length, which to this day, has never been seen by anyone except Heidi and I. We wanted to share it with the world, but never quite felt that it was a good time to do so.

This month, we were brainstorming an article to write and decided to revisit our review days and take another trip through the familiar drive-thrus, this time ordering a classic vanilla shake from each one. We scheduled our review day for Feb. 13, the day after I got back from a week of showing livestock animals at stock shows. It was the perfect time for us both, and we were so excited. Then, that groundhog saw its shadow and went back to sleep, leaving Cedar Park to its wet winter days until spring can gradually creep into our weather apps and warm us up.

There was no turning back now, though. Heidi had the Mini Cooper, I had an article to write and we had curated a playlist to put us in a high-energy review state of mind. So, top down, Heidi driving, me on aux, we drove down Whitestone scream-singing “Hopelessly Devoted to You” by Olivia Newton-John all the way to In-N-Out, our first stop. It also happens to be the best shake we had that night.

NOTE: At each drive-thru, Heidi ordered a “small vanilla milkshake,” and that was it.

1. In-N-Out

Price: $3.00

Adornments: None

In-N-Out was by far the most creamy, tasteful and authentic milkshake of the night. At only $3, the vanilla milkshake tasted much more expensive than any milkshake I’ve ever had. It should be noted, however, that the shake was incredibly thick and was very difficult to actually taste, as it did not want to come up through the tiny straw we were given. This made it a slightly unenjoyable experience, as to have any of the sweet treat, you pretty much were forced to take the lid off the cup and scoop up some of the shake by using the straw like a spoon.

Although we did have to work a little for our milkshake, the reward was well worth the wait. The shake tasted like something out of a classic ‘70s diner. The vanilla flavor was not trying too hard, the sugar was not overbearing and the milk ratio was absolutely perfect.

2. Whataburger

Price: $3.89

Adornments: None

One of the more pricey of the milkshakes we tried, the Whataburger milkshake was really mid. It had a good taste when compared to some of the lower shakes in this ranking, but does not come even remotely close to what In-N-Out had prepared for us. Since we had In-N-Out first out of all the fast-food places we visited, Heidi and I thought maybe we had spoiled ourselves right out the gate with a good milkshake and were too hard on the rest of the contestants. Nevertheless, Whataburger’s vanilla shake was not horrible, but tasted too “sharp,” if you will. The vanilla didn’t feel authentic on our taste buds, giving it a pointy feel of sorts. Further, the shake’s texture was slightly gritty, making it hard to swallow.

3. Chick-fil-A

Price: $4.75

Adornments: Whipped cream

As soon as I tried Chick-fil-A’s vanilla milkshake, I nearly spit it out. I had forgotten that Chick-fil-A and its ice cream products have a specific taste to them that is not easily replicated by its competitors. I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed this, but the ice cream from them is actually a yellow-ish color, and that is the best way to explain how it tastes. Similarly, our milkshake tasted… yellow. And, although I can enjoy a Chick-fil-A ice cream cup every now and again, the shake seemed to be too vanilla-ey and tasted synthetic. We did not even get halfway done with the milkshake before completely abandoning it.

4. Sonic

Price: $3.09

Adornments: Whipped cream, cherry

By now in our rankings, the shakes start getting just downright bad. Heidi and I had been optimistic for Sonic, because its central location and fun car booths make it a prime location for students to get a treat right after school or late at night. Its popularity made us think that the restaurant’s classic shake would be a solid menu item. However, Sonic’s vanilla milkshake was disgusting. It tasted like it was made from a concentrate, infused with cream cheese and spun up until the ingredients stuck together in a giant glob. We each had two bites before calling it quits and having another sip of our In-N-Out milkshake to find ourselves again and be safe to drive.

5. McDonald’s

Price: $2.00

Adornments: Whipped cream

The McDonald’s vanilla milkshake would have rivaled Sonic for fourth place in our rankings had it not tasted like a banana shake. It reminded me of banana pudding that my grandma will sometimes put Nilla Wafers in. Other than that, though, the shake also tasted like it was made from concentrate and not hand-mixed, and certainly not with love. It was interesting, however, that McDonald’s was last on our list for the vanilla shakes, considering that they were number one in our french fry rankings. This confirmed that McDonald’s is the establishment to visit when wanting fried goods, not frozen ones.

By this time, the weather had dropped below 37 degrees, chilling our bodies from the outside while the milkshakes lowered our temperature from the inside. We were shivering and the Bluey blanket I brought was too thin to trap the heat I needed it to. We were at our breaking point, and I needed to go home. But, we were still on a mission to make it through the night with the convertible completely open, so we turned up the music and blasted “Buzzin” by Mann down Cypress Creek Road all the way back to my house.

The only milkshake I took home was the one with the palm trees lined around the cup. In-N-Out for the win.