It’s the biggest night in Hollywood, and often the most disappointing. That’s right, on March 10, the Academy Awards were live to an audience of 21 million people. Most people would usually sit down and watch the whole event, or just check for updates on Twitter. But not me. I am a flesh automaton only made to consume media and then give my semi-comprehensible thoughts on it, so I spent my night watching the event, scrolling through twitter, made my own bingo card and wrote three pages of color coordinated notes because I love doing this in my spare time.  So without further ado, let me explain why the Oscars were actually somewhat watchable this year.

First, let’s talk about the looks on the red carpet that night. Most of the looks really boiled down to: “Man In Suit,” pretty dresses, dresses that had floating shoulder straps and Justine Triet looking like Nicole Kidman in that one AMC ad where she explains how “we come to this place for magic.” The dress that Emma Stone wore not only confused me, but I realized it was a dress that only Emma Stone could pull off, making it the dress of the night. Anya Taylor Joy’s dress also took my breath away, so much so, that I wrote it down three times in my notes.

After everybody settled down in their seats, the show was ready to start with everybody’s least favorite late-night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel. You may know him as the star of “VeggieTales: The Little Drummer Boy!” As Smiling Wiseman #3. He was also the creator, writer, and host of “The Man Show”, a show where he harasses women on the street to go home with him as “satire”. When Jimmy started his monologue, I already felt like a wave of nausea hit me. I don’t know what it is, but something about Kimmel’s jokes just makes me feel like groaning. He is such a mediocre host, and I don’t understand how he keeps getting chosen year after year. I don’t think he’s necessarily bad, just uninteresting. He made a couple jokes about the writers strike, some generic jokes about the nominees and a joke about Robert Downey Jr’s drug problem that went on for way too long. I wasn’t the only one with this opinion, as on Twitter, everybody was upset over how long his monologue was, and how it really didn’t go anywhere.

The first award of the night was Best Supporting Actress, and I would be fine with any of the nominees winning. With that being said, I am incredibly happy that Da’vine ended up winning for her performance in “The Holdovers,” especially after her speech. She was so happy and her speech was so moving, and for it being her first win, it truly was a great first award to start the show. I also want to mention the change to the format they made this year. Usually, when introducing actors, they play a clip of the role they played. This year, they had the past five winners give speeches for each nominee. While cute, I think it took a lot longer and also didn’t show off their performance, which could entice more people to go see the movie they were in. 

After this, the announcer mispronounced Anya Taylor Joy, and frankly, that won’t slide. I propose we all meet outside the nearest Waffle House and beat him up.

The next awards that were presented were the two animation categories, Best Animated Short and Feature. Kimmel immediately opens up with a joke about how animation is for kids, making fun of 10 nominations each with an extensive crew and cast, just for a quick giggle. Nice one, Jimmy. “War is Over” won Best Animated Short, and I really think that it was the weakest of the nominations. I feel like each year, we have seen animation styles finally branch out from the Pixar-Psudorealistic type of animation, and into more abstract or traditional two-dimensional animation, only for the former to win nearly every year. With this being said, I am really grateful that “The Boy and The Heron” won for Best Animated Feature. I know a lot of people were upset that “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” didn’t win, but I think either deserved it or could have won.

The next awards were for Best Original and Adapted Screenplay, and I think both “Anatomy of A Fall” and “American Fiction” were both great picks. Cord Jefferson, writer for the screenplay of “American Fiction,” gave by far the most captivating speech of the night in my opinion. He gave a great message about how there could be so many more two million dollar movies instead of just one 200 million dollar movie, and that creatives should be given the chance to express themselves more without having to rely on budget.

After that speech, “Poor Things” then won three separate awards in a row for Makeup, Set Design and Costumes. A lot of people were expecting Barbie to win Set Design for the dreamhouse and the whole world itself, but I think Poor Things was really deserving. If it didn’t go to “Poor Things,” I probably would want it to go to “Killers Of The Flower Moon.” All of the costuming was fantastic for each nomination, and I would be fine with any of them, but once again I think that if it didn’t go to “Poor Things”, Killers was right there. The makeup in “Poor Things” was especially good with Willem Defoe and that blew me away. It was definitely my first choice.

I also feel like I should mention that before Best Costumes was announced, the bit with John Cena talking about how costumes are important while being nearly nude in front of an audience of millions was funny. He did a little bit of a back and forth with Jimmy and I think it showed how much John Cena was carrying the bit.

“Zone of Interest” won Best International Picture and I think it was incredibly deserved and also super predictable. It also won Best Sound Design which I was honestly expecting “Oppenhiemer” to get, but I am happy with this choice, too.

John Mulaney also presented this category, and oh my god, this man should host. His delivery was so good and honestly got the biggest laughs the whole night. He talked about “Field of Dreams” for a solid two minutes, a movie that came out 30 years ago, just because he wanted to, and it paid off. If you haven’t seen it yet, you should watch his monologue when he hosted the Governors Awards, a different awards show from the Academy. It was definitely his trail run, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he hosted next year.

RDJ won Best Supporting Actor for his role in “Oppenhiemer” and I was very excited. I thought his speech was not only funny, but heartwarming, and it truly showed how far he has come. I do in full honesty think they should have played the Sydney Sweeny “Oppenhiemer” edit when he won. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up, you won’t be disappointed.

Afterwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito presented Best Special Effects, and “Godzilla: Minus One” won. I mean this, in all sincerity, that if this didn’t win, I would have serious problems for the rest of the year. The team all took their little Godzilla figures up with them, and all had Godzilla shoes, which really shows how passionate they were about this movie. What got me really angry though was that as they were trying to speak English during their acceptance piece and they played them off for “taking too long” while grieving a dead crew member. It was honestly a really bad look for the Academy.

“Oppenhiemer” then won two awards for Best Editing and Cinematography and I strongly think that this movie deserved both. I don’t have much to say about this, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the movie and how it was shot.

I feel like I must describe the emotional whiplash I got from the Best Documentary awards. America Ferrera and Kate McKinnon did a funny bit about “Jurassic Park” being a documentary, and Steven Spielberg was there to play along. After the awards were given out to “20 Days in Mariupol” and “The Last Repair Shop,” each with a heartbreaking speech, they played them off with an instrumental version of “I’m Just Ken.” We went from funny, to sad, to the most inappropriate backing track. Great job, gang.

Wes Anderson’s “The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar” won Best Live Action Short, and I was more or less indifferent to it, but I think it deserved it just as much as the others nominated.

Then we have the moment on everyone’s for you page, the “I’m Just Ken” live performance. Before I dive into this, let me talk about all the other nominees. I think any of these songs could have won, and each performance was fantastic in their own way. I really liked “A Song For My People” from “Killers of The Flower Moon,” and I thought the live performance translated really well from the movie. “What Was I Made For” was also really beautiful, and I enjoyed that so much. “I’m Just Ken” was for sure the most energetic performance, and it was so unseriously serious. Everybody there was singing along, the karaoke-like lyrics on the screen, Slash making an appearance, it was fantastic. My “La La Land” loving heart exploded when he pointed the microphone at Emma Stone, and I don’t think I will ever recover from this emotionally. Of course, “What Was I Made For” won the award, and I don’t think that was a huge surprise.

I also feel the same way with Best Score, as I think all of them were so fantastic. “Oppenheimer’ had a score that genuinely made chills crawl down my spine in the theater, and I love anything made by John Williams, and “Indiana Jones: Dial of Destiny” did not disappoint. I do however think that “Spider-Verse” at least deserved a nomination, as that was my most listened to score on Spotify, but I am ecstatic about “Oppenhiemer’s” win.

Christopher Nolan finally won an Oscar for directing, and I think this was by far the most deserved award. The only crime here is that he didn’t get one sooner, but I’m glad he has one now.

Now for Best Actor and Best Actress, two of the biggest awards, and it went to exactly who you thought it would. Cillian Murphy won for his portrayal of Oppenhiemer in, obviously, “Marcel The Shell With Shoes On,” and Emma Stone for Bella Baxter in “Poor Things.” Cillians speech was nice, I was happy for him, and so was everyone in the audience. Emma Stone seemed like she fully expected Lily Gladstone to win for Killers, and so did a lot of people. I think both of them did such a fantastic job with their roles, and I would be fine with either of them. 

And finally, the most anticipated award of the entire night, Best Picture. Before this, Kimmel made a joke about 2016’s mixup where they presented “La La Land” as best picture because Emma Stone won Best Actress for that movie, by saying they should rip up that letter just in case. Now the joke was funny, I’ll give him that, but I had to stay serious because how dare he say that to Emma. How many Best Actress awards do YOU have Jimmy? Know your place. 

Al Pacino presented the award, and I can only describe his vibe during the night as what my notes describe as “serial killer babygirl.” The way he announced the winner was so unexpected, and everybody thought he would take at least more than 30 seconds. When he uttered the phrase “Uhhh, and my eyes see Oppenheimer!”, you can hear a confused clap around the room. None of the camera crew was ready yet, the orchestra was still setting up, and you can feel a sense of urgency afterward, which was kind of funny. I was fully expecting either “Poor Things” or “Oppenhiemer” to win, and I think it was a huge toss up between the two.

I thought that this specific ceremony was the best the Academy has had in years. I felt like there weren’t that many snubbs, nothing felt super off or awkward when presenting, and everything was laid out really well. However, I will still have to rate this show a -2/10, as Jimmy Kimmel was still the host, subtracting 10 points from the score. If you take anything away from this article, I hope it’s a distaste for Jimmy.