![Walking through the tunnel created by the cheerleaders and Celebrities, senior Frances Tran smiles as the soccer team is sent off during DEN for their playoff game against Rouse tonight. Tran said the wins against Smithson Valley and Alamo Heights gave the team a morale boost to take on the Raiders tonight. “I know we were not 100% confident in those games,” Tran said. “But, Rouse is a big opponent for sure. We’re definitely going into tonight with a lot of morale [because of the previous wins].”](https://cphswolfpack.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/frances-tran.jpg)
![Holding a bucket of materials in one hand and a roll of tape in another, anatomy and biology teacher Tyler Terry prepares for a lab. Terry said his proudest moments are when his students are happy to see him. “When I take my wife to a football game or something and a bunch of students want to say hi to me or they like to smile and wave and it just makes me feel good that the students are really kind and supportive of me,” Terry said. “[I’m also] proud when I see students perform really well in their extracurriculars because I can see how hard they’re working in my classes, [so] when I see that they’re also working so hard in other things. Like they’re winning band competitions or they’re getting awards for their theater productions, or I see them put on their choir shows, that’s like, wow, you guys are incredible.”](https://cphswolfpack.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Rags-6.png)
![Catching a ball, junior Alivia Robinson plays at the Cedar Park vs Glenn game. Having played since she was 5 years old, she is dedicated to softball and has committed to UTPB for softball. “When I got my offer it took me a very long time to decide where,” Robinson said. “Softball has always been my dream for college, and UTPB is my fit. When [I committed] I knew I was going to be loved and supported.”](https://cphswolfpack.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Lilly-Adams-3.13aliviaedit-901.jpg)
![Holding her dog, Nova, senior Ariana Balakrishnan poses for her senior pictures while Nova wears a bandana with her college decision. Balakrishnan applied to 18 colleges in total, but she decided on Columbia in the end. “Right before I clicked the button to open Columbia’s letter, I literally looked at the camera and go ‘This is just gonna really suck because I wanted it so bad,’ and I clicked it and all of a sudden you hear trumpets,” Balakrishnan said. “There’s a video that plays when you open it and I actually didn’t watch the video, I just watched the screen go black, because every day of December before ED [Early Decision] I would go on YouTube and watch the acceptance video to manifest it, so immediately when the screen went black, I started screaming and jumping up and down. And my parents in the video are like ‘What are you doing, where’s the letter,’ and I was just screaming ‘I got in, I got in.” I just started crying, and it just felt like everything in the world came together.”](https://cphswolfpack.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/ariana-2-300x217.jpg)
It’s that time of year again, my personal favorite time of the year, Halloween. There are a lot of reasons why I love Halloween, the costumes, the parties, the razor blades in my apples, the community aspect; it’s all wonderful. But more than all, I love the movies. Over the past three years, my tolerance for horror has grown exponentially. If I had seen “Hereditary” the year it came out, I would have cried like a child, but I’ve become fascinated with horror, to the point that it may be my favorite movie genre ever. I love finding niche short films and watching Hollywood classics, and I want to share that joy. So, here are seven great, and six not-so-great horror movies you can watch this Halloween season. None of these are in a particular order, but some are better than others, and for your reading pleasure, before each review I’ve added either a quote from the movie, a one-liner or a pun related to the movie.
- “Unedited Footage of a Bear” by Alan Resnick
Length: 11 minutes
How to watch: Youtube
“One time I took some ibuprofen and ended up chucking a Winnebago at my neighbor’s house, so I understand the woman’s pain in this film.”
“Unedited Footage of a Bear” by Alan Resnick is one of the most creative and well-executed horror short films I have ever seen in my entire life. What starts out as an innocent video gets interrupted by an over-the-counter medication infomercial, which slowly turns into a terrifying story about addiction, abuse, and losing your sense of self. While only being a short 11 minutes, there is no doubt that all ideas shown were used to the fullest potential. Beyond the film, you can find yourself going down a rabbit hole by going to the website mentioned in the film and looking at behind-the-scenes footage. If you are in the mood for a short but horrifying story, this is the film for you.
- “This House Has People In It” by Alan Resnick
Length: 12 minutes
How to watch: Youtube
“This short was so good, it had me floored the whole time.”
This is the weirdest film on the list, and that’s because it is HEAVILY experimental. By itself, the film takes place in a concise, yet very confusing, 12-minute time frame, and this is shown through the house’s security cameras. But much like the last short, this story is larger than what meets the eye. Hours of footage, websites, and text make this story infinitely more interesting. This ARG from Adult Swim is one of the coolest pieces of horror media I have ever seen. It may not be as violent or gory, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t depressing, unsettling, and at times, horrifying. At face value, it is about a family facing a tragic event in 12 minutes.
- “Cube” by Vincenzo Natali
Length: 90 minutes
How to watch: Youtube, Amazon
“Turned off halfway due to the lack of triangles. This is erasure.”
“Cube” is like if “Saw” and “Final Destination” met in geometry class. With such a simple premise, and seemingly simple set, an extravagant story unfolds as five regular people are trapped together, with death lurking for them at every corner. But unlike Saw, the horror isn’t within the traps, it’s within the people. This movie was truly ahead of its time and is a marvel in creating unrealistic characters having very realistic emotions. The film isn’t supposed to be a 1-1 representation of us as a society, but rather what happens in dire situations.
- “The Truman Show” by Peter Weir
Length: 103 minutes
How to watch: Amazon
“Good afternoon, good evening, and good night.”
Some say that this isn’t a horror movie, but those people are dead wrong. “The Truman Show” isn’t just a horror movie, but also a tragedy disguised as a comedy, with one of the most bone-chilling endings to ever exist in cinema. There are no words to describe how great Jim Carrey is in this film, but I wish there were. This takes the feeling of thinking you are being watched to a whole new level. By the way, you should check outside your window. Run. Run. Run.
- “Nope” by Jordan Peele
Length: 130 minutes
How to watch: Amazon, Apple TV
“This cured my God complex, thanks, Jordan!”
There is a reason this made it in my top three horror movies of all time, it’s very, very, good. My boss said this movie was pretentious, so I have now put my two weeks’ notice in. This movie is extremely experimental, weird, engaging, and my boss is insane for not understanding the complexity of Jordan Peele. It can be hard to follow at times, and the symbolism can be hard to pick up on, but I will always come back to this movie just to find something interesting that I missed my first watch-through. Everything is so well written, well shot, and has one of the coolest horror villains to ever exist. At its core, it’s a story about greed, regret, and narcissism.
- “Midsommar” by Ari Aster
Length: 147 minutes
How to watch: Amazon, Apple TV
“This movie was unbearably fantastic.”
This movie made me cry, scream, shiver and all other scary emotions. This movie left me scared for days and I still don’t know how to recover from it. While not being the number one pick, this movie is objectively the scariest movie on this list. Being seemingly stranded in the middle of nowhere, with a cult constantly keeping an eye on you, has to be my literal worst nightmare. The dynamic between the two main characters really shows how dysfunctional their relationship is, and how they both need to come to terms with it. However, by the end of the movie, it’s too late.
- “Get Out” by Jordan Peele
Length: 104 minutes
How to watch: Hulu, Peacock, Amazon
“This movie makes me want to vote for Obama a third time.”
This is not just my favorite horror movie of all time, this is my favorite MOVIE of all time. I don’t think that you could make this movie any better because it is pure perfection. The writing, the acting, the effects, and the overall quality of the film is incredible. Each moment of the movie feels eerie and unsettling, filled with some of the most horrifying moments I have ever seen. Each moment slowly makes you more and more uncomfortable as the characters slowly drop their facade and you learn more about the family, the house, and what these people want. While not as gory or bloody as some of the others on this list, the tone and concept is what sends shivers down your spine. I cannot recommend this movie enough and I wish I could go into more detail, but this article has a whole other half. If you catch me in the hallway, I would be more than happy to drop everything and talk about this movie.
Now that we are out of the way with all that artistic, wonderful, ethereal nonsense, let’s get into that garbage!
- “Cube 2: Hypercube” by Andrzej Sekula
Length: 94 minutes
How to watch: Amazon
“Cubes are less scary to me now.”
“Cube 2: Hypercube” is of course the sequel to “Cube.” But this sequel completely takes everything about what made the first movie good and throws it all away. The mystery behind what the cube is, the great character interaction, and the overall aesthetic of the movie are completely gone. In the first “Cube,” there was a way to get out, color-coded rooms, math and puzzles, but this replaces it all with a “Sci-Fi” white room that never seems to change. Basically, don’t watch this movie if you want to have fun.
- “The Call” by Brad Anderson
Length: 94 minutes
How to watch: Amazon
“AITA for going out of my jurisdiction as a police dispatcher because of a mistake I made two years ago?”
I found this movie through a TikTok movie clips account, and this movie is THE main reason I don’t trust those accounts. The first two acts are pretty decent, as every moment feels tense and quick, but the third act feels like an ending of a generic prime-time television series that follows a group of police officers your mother found on the Freeform channel. The actor does a pretty good job at playing a creep, as there were multiple times I felt uncomfortable while he stared down the barrel of the camera. However, this does not excuse the writing of the character, as he seems to get away with almost every murder he commits. Most of these kills are played off like it’s “American Psycho,” but if “American Psycho” got rid of the satire and if the question of “was any of it was real” was eliminated from the movie. This man makes the most incomprehensible choices in a matter of milliseconds. This movie is probably the “best” of the bad movies, but that doesn’t mean it was enjoyable overall.
- “The VelociPastor” by Brandon Steere
Length: 75 minutes
How to watch: Youtube, Amazon
“They used a T-rex costume for the entire movie.”
From this point on, all of these movies are in a ‘so bad it’s good’ category, but do be warned that these are still horrible. “The VelociPastor” is exactly what it sounds like. A pastor goes through a Peter Parker-esk story, where both of his parents die and he gets the power to turn into a velociraptor. This movie was made as a joke, but I’m still putting it on the list because it was too silly not to.
- “Twisted Pair” by Neil Breen
Length: 89 minutes
How to watch: Youtube
“Programmable. Virtual. Reality. The corrupt version…”
If you have ever wondered what a Sci-Fi action horror movie would be like if it was on a budget of 7000 dollars, I have the movie for you. Since 2007, Neil Breen has been directing, editing, producing, and acting in all of his films. And if you aren’t picking up on these hints, Neil Breen’s movies are bad. This movie is almost unwatchable, but it is gut-bustlingly hilarious with its “amazing” special effects. Give this one a watch and turn your brain off, it’s worth it.
- “American Psycho II: All American Girl” by Morgan J. Freeman
Length: 88 minutes
How to watch: Apple TV
“I just killed the world’s greatest serial killer, I couldn’t wait to grow up!”
No, not that Morgan Freeman, this is a different guy. If you liked “American Psycho,” you should know that this movie was not meant to be a sequel to “American Psycho.” In fact, nothing about the movie is mentioned outside of the first three minutes. It disregards everything the first film sets up, and goes from a satire on Wall Street and businessmen into a movie about a snarky teen who is just good at killing people. If this was a parody of the first movie, it would have been brilliant satire. But we don’t live in that world, we live in this world.
- “Troll 2” by Claudio Fragasso
Length: 95 minutes
How to watch: Apple TV
“They’re eating her! And then they’re going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOD”
Before I start this review, I want to let you know that this movie does not mention a troll a single time. This movie is about a much scarier creature, goblins. For those who don’t know, this is claimed by many to be the worst movie ever made. Now yes, “The Room” and “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” are horrible, but this movie is one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and I promise, that you will feel exactly the same. Much like “American Psycho 2,” this movie was meant to be its own film, until the studio decided to make it a tie-in sequel, with nothing relating to the original. The acting is one of the worst things I have ever seen, with some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard. I wholeheartedly mean it when I say that this movie is the BEST bad movie of all time, and is a must-watch cinematic dumpster fire. There is also an amazing documentary about the movie that the main character made for the 20th anniversary, and it is a perfect “where are they now” type reunion.
Well, folks, that is the end of this list! Even though half of the movies on this list are terrible, I would be lying if I didn’t say I had fun watching them. Please, give all of these movies a watch, especially “Troll 2.” Being the worst doesn’t mean it’s unwatchable. That role goes to “Cube 2: Hypercube.” That movie doesn’t deserve any praise. Happy Halloween and I hope to do another list like this in the future!
