How to lose a summer job

Mallory Robertson

     While there are plenty of tips floating around helping youngsters get their first summer jobs, there are very few for the under-achievers who can’t stand the thought of working away the dog days of summer. For those who want to ditch their current employment and find other outlets for summer fun, the following tips are for you.

     Don’t show up: Not showing up to work without giving notice is the easiest and most common way to lose your job. Making excuses for why you weren’t there makes the situation even worse. These are so obviously full of lies that it isn’t even funny.

     Be irresponsible: If you really want to lose your job, make promises that you won’t keep, say you are going to do things that you know you won’t do. Don’t write down your work schedule or tell your boss the days you need off. Also, call everyday to see if you work. When your boss calls you, listen to their message but most definitely do not return their phone call.

     Show up late:  And by late I mean, really late. If your shift starts at 3 be there by 4:30, if that doesn’t get you fired after a couple of times, I do not know what will.

    Be negative: Never smile, complain to the customers, curse at work and have no respect for your personal hygiene. Tell the customers what’s wrong with them that day, and talk down about your store or restaurant’s products.

     Don’t show up for mandatory meetings: Not only should you not show up, but you should express to your managers that you just don’t care about attending. In the event that you do attend, at the end of the meeting declare as you walk out of the door that you just lost 30 minutes of your life that you will never get back.

     Start drama amongst your coworkers: Talk about your coworkers behind their backs, preferably to other coworkers. Be mean to the boss and, even if other things haven’t been working, make a coworker cry. That will get you canned for sure.

     Lie: No manager likes to be lied to. Call in sick when it’s obvious that you’re not. Say you’re going to a family event and then post pictures of your day all over facebook.

     So if you like the job you’ve landed for the summer, it’s best to refrain from the above actions. They are easily avoided using a little common sense and a positive attutide.