Planning to have/attend a Super Bowl party?

Here are some tips and tricks:

1. First of all, go to Costco. The amount of food you will be buying is enough to feed a small country/army. Only Costco can supply that quantity. (Unless you aren’t a member of the elitist group that is Costco, then just take a trip to H.E.B.)
2. Fake it until you make it. If you have no idea who’s playing, bring a delicious dip and lay low.
3.  If you don’t care about either team, the safest route is to root for the host’s team.
4. Talk about how great Peyton Manning is. No matter what.
5. No double dipping. Who do you think you are? Stop.
6. Don’t. Drink. Anything. Die of dehydration if you must, but don’t miss the commercials or the game for a bathroom break.
7. Okay, if you have to, go during a slow part in the game, not the commercials…those are too great to miss. Hustle to the bathroom, take care of your business and then hustle back.
8. Listen, face paint is optional. Spirit wear is not.
9. For the girls who know nothing about football, look up some terms you can remember and stay quiet for most of the time. This is not the time to ask a million and five questions. This is too important.
10. If your team loses, cry internally. Don’t be a sore loser and a jerk just because your pride has taken a hit.