An Easy Choice
Teacher Picks Family Over Love of Coaching
February 14, 2023
The squeak of tennis shoes on the gym floor. The hand pulling up a fallen teammate. The smell of sweat dripping from the victor’s jersey. The radiant light of the final score. The beam of pride in a parent’s eye. The resigned shoulders of the underdog fighting a losing battle. The clinging of a championship medal adds to a growing pile. The pictures on the wall of good memories. Spanish teacher Rebecca Zabel-Brewer gave that all up for her family.
Working as an assistant coach for 15 years, Brewer has coached softball, volleyball, soccer, cross country, track and field, and basketball. At the start of the school year, she made the decision to retire from coaching for the sake of her family.
“I chose to stop coaching because I have two sons who are athletes,” Brewer said. “I realized that coaching and following their athletic careers were opposing goals. There was no longer room in my life for both of those things, I was going to have to choose one or the other. It was an easy choice. I love my sons and I want the front row seat to bear witness to their athletic careers.”
This is the second time Brewer has made this decision, but she later came back to the job after she felt she could balance being a good mom and act on her desire to coach.
“The first time I left coaching was because I was pregnant with my second son,” Brewer said. “I knew from experience with my first son that I was going to miss out on a lot, because of being away so much. And an opportunity came up for me to go back to coaching. My sons were at an age where I could indulge that yearn to coach, that desire to coach and be a good mom at the same time. It was a fun ride.”
It is important to an athlete to have someone in the stands watching them, Brewer says. She wants to be that person for her kids.
“My older son would sometimes say, ‘I don’t care if you go or not’,” Brewer said. “But I think it mattered to him because he would look for me when I got there and was always happy I was there. And the little one is very open about how he wants his parents at his games. I think it matters to them very much. I think it matters to all kids.”
When Brewer was a young athlete, as her children are now, she didn’t have someone watching her in the stands.
“My parents didn’t go to my sporting events,” Brewer said. “Neither one of my parents ever saw me do anything. And not because they couldn’t go, because they just didn’t go. I’m not my parents. I know what it feels like to know that you don’t have anyone in the stands watching you succeed or fail. I don’t want my kids to feel that.”
Brewer’s older son is an athlete on both Glenn high school’s cross country team and track and field team. Her youngest plays all sports but his primary sport is baseball.
“It is pure joy and pride,” Brewer said. “Watching my sons struggle with a skill and then obtain mastery over that skill, it’s the best feeling in the world. If they win, if they don’t win. Watching them go through the process of setting a goal for themselves and then reaching and working for that goal, I love it.”
According to Brewer, the best piece of advice she received regarding the decision to continue or stop coaching came from the former head volleyball coach at Plano East Senior High School, Marcy Crabtree.
“She told me to leave coaching while I still loved it,” Brewer said. “That way when you look back on it you’ll always feel gratitude and fulfillment and peace. If you leave it because you’re just fed up or too tired or for any negative reason, when you look back on it you’ll always have that bitter taste in your mouth and I don’t want that either.”
As a coach, Brewer made many achievements and felt she had made it far enough in her career to stop and focus on her family.
“Over my 15 years of coaching I’ve been to state level competition eight times,” Brewer said. “Top three finishes seven of those eight times in four different sports, two state championships back to back, one undefeated season and last year I was assistant coach of the year for 5A, so I feel, career wise, I checked every box and I left coaching because I felt fulfilled. Because I still loved it. And because I was not willing to sacrifice the [opportunity] to watch my sons compete in their sports.”