A smaller piece of pi

Jared Maddox

     For centuries, the value of pi has remained indefinite. While supercomputers have solved for the value of pi to 4.5 trillion places, the exact value of this irrational number has never been solved because the digits go on infinitely. Due to the lack of accuracy in measuring the number, the International Pi Society has made the decision to use the exact value of three in place of pi.

     When the convention declared this change would take effect April 1 of this year, many math educators became excited about quickly implementing this new policy.

     “We will take care of this change immediately,” Troy Inman, Algebra II teacher, said.  “I can even go back and improve grades from previous six-weeks to compensate.”

     With such excitement about this change, there seems to be almost no downside.

     “Some ‘super-mathematicians’ might be upset,” Inman said, “but that doesn’t really matter.”

     In implementing this policy, educators hope all math students will appreciate this simplification and that their performance will improve.

     “It will definitely be easier to teach my math classes,” Inman said.  “Most kids can multiply by three in their head.  Math grades will go up dramatically.”

     After such a warm welcome to this change, it is curious why the irrational value for pi has been in place for so long. Due to the overwhelmingly positive response to the rounding of pi, many other areas of the math world will be simplified. The Trigonometric Convention has already begun to discuss the simplification of trig functions.  Though this simplification is expected to be slightly more complicated than originally anticipated, the convention expects to see this change implemented by April 1 of 2012.

*This story ran in our April Fool’s issue and is a joke article