The five worst Valentine’s Day gifts

Hannah Lundin

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, most men are scrambling to find a gift that’s sweet, meaningful, original, delicious, fuzzy, and preferably in a shade of pink or red that shows how much they really care about their significant other. Unfortunately for them, these kinds of gifts are extremely rare or incredibly expensive, so most guys end up buying something extremely mediocre or incredibly cliché. But fear not, hopeless valentiners, for here is a list of the worst gifts to give so even if you give an atrocious gift, if you read this and took it to heart, then your bad gift will not be the worst gift you could have given.

First of all, if you ask someone to be your valentine then one would assume you care about them as more than a friend, so DO NOT  give them any token of friendship; whether this be in necklace, bracelet, ring or keychain form, this is a no-no. Not only have you already led the person on by asking them to be your valentine, but you are now shooting down all the high hopes they had for this day that is supposed to be filled with romance.

On the other hand, you don’t want to scare the girl off, so if you’re in middle or high school, stay away from the promise rings. I repeat, do not go near the promise rings. No matter how much you think you are so in love and that you will get married and have four kids and live in suburbia with a hamster and two dogs, chances are you won’t, so don’t make promises you can’t keep.

When it comes to buying apparel in general for women you have to be very careful, which is why you should avoid clothing. You buy something too small and she thinks you want her to be smaller and next thing you know she will only eat celery and ice for the next month. Or, being the gentleman you are, you err on the side of caution and go a little bigger and she thinks she’s fat and replaces the time she used to spend eating with searching the internet for the best deal on lypo.

Stay away from anything involving their size or figure actually. Yes, even a gym membership is a no-no. You might think you’re being really thoughtful, and you are, but women over think things and they will automatically assume you think they are a whale and they will cry. Anything relating to fitness is kind of in the danger zone, especially a shake-weight. Do not give her a shake-weight.

These are all bad, but the worst thing to do is to ask a girl to be your valentine, and then give her absolutely nothing. Give them something. Nothing is not an option, especially if you went out of your way to ask them to be your valentine.

If you’re completely lost and don’t want to screw up go to Walgreens and drop forty dollars on a huge bear and you’re pretty much in the safe zone. Yes, it’s typical and cliché but women love oversized stuffed animals, so if you’re clueless, go with the bear.