As an introvert, there are certain questions that always seem slither their way into my conversations. Some are people asking why I’m quiet, and others question why my voice is soft when I do speak up. After a while, it gets both annoying and tiring to answer the same questions, so I am here to tell you three things to simply avoid asking introverts.

Let’s start with the number one question introverts just cannot avoid.

1. “Why are you so quiet?”

Well, the answer varies, but here are some answers.

A) We do not feel comfortable with you or with the situation.

B) We just do not feel like speaking with you or with anyone at that point in time.

C) We grew up in certain situations that shaped us to be introverts.

There are of course another hundred reasons why someone may be quiet, but usually the “why” can fall into these categories. We have trouble opening up to people, so get to know us. Once you reach that point, we definitely won’t be quiet.

Seriously, I have mini concerts on my bed singing songs like “Plans” by Oh Wonder and “Chasing Fire” by Lauv. My younger sister eventually gets annoyed, which is why I keep doing it. My favorite question she asks is, “Did you not learn anything in choir?” and for those of you wondering if I did, no I didn’t. I can draw a treble clef, but that’s about it.

2. “Are you okay? You seem upset.”

For me at least, I am usually okay. I am just not as expressive with my emotions like the rest of the population. For example, I can receive a 100 on a quiz but my facial expression would seem as if I got a 50. Big difference in grade, but same facial expression.

Instead of asking “Are you okay?” simply ask us “How are you?” Treat us normally, we are introverts, not monsters. Like anyone else, we want to feel like people care about us.

3. “Do you ever go out and socialize?”

Yes, we do. Is it every day? No.

But it is a misconception that all we do as introverts is hide in our closets watching YouTube or Netflix. My friends and I go to the mall, to Mr. Boba, we watch movies, we do almost everything extroverts do. We may simply decide to not do it as often.

Personally, I need time to recover from social interaction. It tires me out and puts me in a bad mood afterward, and a moody me is not a good me. Friends are people that I cherish and adore. I surround myself with non-judgmental people who are welcoming and fun to be around. If I am able to be in the same room with you for 10 minutes and have a conversation, you are considered a friend.

Now, some honorable mentions:

4. “Wow! You actually talk?”

Yes, sweetie, we do. Most of us are fortunate enough to have the ability to speak. Just because we make the choice to not speak, does not mean we are mute. Avoid saying this, it makes you sound rude and ignorant.

5. “Can you speak louder? I can’t hear you.”

I’m not used to projecting my voice, while extroverts are often more comfortable and used to it. This is why introverts may be quieter when talking, because our voices are created differently. A piece of advice- don’t ask in a rude tone. If you cannot hear us, ask in a respectful way. An added “please” or a change of tone would make you sound much nicer.

If you can take away anything from this let it be that although we may classify ourselves as introverts, we still like to be included. Being introverted is not a disease, and it does not define a person.

Now, if you don’t mind, I must head into my closet and rewatch “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” while eating some SweetTart Ropes.